I have yet to meet someone who was successful who was even slightly negative. That comes from a muscle training. You can work on negativity and weed it out of your life. I've noticed that all of the people who acted as if they were going to be gone too soon, were gone too soon.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

My legs tired, ain't your legs tired!? His legs ain't Tired! He Just... Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.

Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life.