I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

[The rumor that Leonardo DiCaprio on set was raped by a bear] was as silly as Lady Gaga bumping him or moving his arm out of the way [at the Golden Globes]. People straight be bored.

There is no top. You are never going to reach the top if you go for success. That way lies madness.

I have always, or for the most part, identified myself as a biracial person.

We've decided [with Jordan Peele] that we need to be on the Internet for a little bit of time every day to figure out what's going on. It feels like we're working. It feels like you're all typing and you're searching.

I'm racist against non-black people.

[Adoption] could turn you into an exquisite comedian. Ask Richard Pryor's ghost.