I'll quit tanning when the satchel handle grows out of my back.

Don't get divorced after your first argument! I have a lot of friends that have one fight and that's it, they get divorced. I go, 'Wait a minute! Oh my gosh, you guys! Calm down! You'll forget in three days what you were fighting about. I promise. So just let it marinate a little bit-that's my best love advice.

It makes my makeup artist's life easier. [Plus] it makes my eyes look a little more open on TV, which is where I happen to work right now.

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.

I work out every day. It's part of my life. That's one of the benefits of having kids in school full-time.

I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously.

When I'm at work, I'm remembering what I forgot to do for the kids, and when I'm with the kids, I'm remembering what I forgot to do at work.