If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.

I think children are like pancakes. You sort of ruin the first one, and you get better at it the second time around.

There's no real manual on being a parent. There's no real manual on being a wife. I keep reminding myself, My mother did all this, only she never got to leave the house. OK, I can do this. We're all learning on our own learning curve.

I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously.

I work out every day. It's part of my life. That's one of the benefits of having kids in school full-time. I do it more for my insides than my outside, but the outside gets a nice benefit, too. I feel like my mind is a little quieter when I exercise. And I don't have the best family history heart-wise, so I really try to keep my heart strong.

I don't have the best family history heart-wise, so I really try to keep my heart strong.

Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air.