If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.

If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.

Having been a cheerleader, I know all too well what these girls give up to join forces and compete.

Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air.

Sleeping is not something I do a lot of.

When I'm at work, I'm remembering what I forgot to do for the kids, and when I'm with the kids, I'm remembering what I forgot to do at work.

If I feel any sort of emotional upheaval, I go for a jog and I feel better.