I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.

I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.

The ethical argument regarding abortion hinges on the question of when life begins. Some believe life begins at forty.

Saturday Night Live was a show that I never thought I would be on, because I didn't do sketch comedy and I didn't do impressions. I was a stand-up.

It's tough getting older. You start falling apart, you know? My gums are starting to recede now. You can't tell tonight, though, 'cause I comb them forward.

Any time you do an Adam Sandler film, it's kind of like a boys' club, because you're hanging out and there are guitars around, and basketballs and footballs and electric bikes and scooters and different people dropping by.

I don't smoke pot or cigarettes, so inhaling smoke as a non-smoker - it doesn't matter what it is, it's going to make you lightheaded.