When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.

I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another.

I think I sent out some résumés for marketing jobs, and they all came back in the mail because I didn't have enough postage.

I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven.

I enjoyed living in New York City, I liked the premise of the show [Saturday Night Live], I liked working with a different host every week and different musicians. I always thought, "This is great. I never expected to get this in the first place, so I'm just happy being here."

I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.