He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

Work was like cats were supposed to be: if you disliked and feared it and tried to keep out if its way, it knew at once and sought you out and jumped on your lap and climbed all over you to show how much it loved you. Please God, he thought, don't let me die in harness.

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

Now and then I become conscious of having the reputation of being one of the great drinkers, if not one of the great drunks, of our time.

I sometimes feel that more lousy dishes are presented under the banner of pate than any other.

How wrong people always were when they said: 'It's better to know the worst than go on not knowing either way.' No; they had it exactly the wrong way round. Tell me the truth, doctor, I'd sooner know. But only if the truth is what I want to hear.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.