Trout's leading robot looked like a human being, and could talk and dance and so on, and go out with girls. And nobody held it against him that he dropped jellied gasoline on people. But they found his halitosis unforgivable. But then he cleared that up, and he was welcomed to the human race.

The person who writes the bank's commercials is not the person who makes the loans.

Being an American means never having to say you're sorry.

My father said, ‘When in doubt, castle.’

The artist makes his living by pretending, by putting it in a meaningful hole though no such holes exist.

A lack of seriousness has led to all sorts of wonderful insights.

Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself.