He is in a constant state of stage fright, he says, because he never knows what part of his life he is going to have to act in next

I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantaloupe, there is so little information in my face, but my heart is beating.

A lot of people were opposed to it. A lot of people were for it. I myself think about it as little as possible.

Literature is the only art in which the audience performs the score.

During the Vietnam War, Abbie Hoffman announced that the new high was banana peels taken rectally. So then FBI scientists stuffed banana peels up their asses to find out if this was true or not.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

...this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought, so eager to believe and snarl and hate.