I can have oodles of charm when I want to.

The computer revolution has allowed white-collar criminals to do what the Mob would have loved to do - put a pawnshop and a loan shark in every home!

In this world, you get what you pay for.

Human beings are about 1,000 times dumber and meaner than they think they are.

Vietnam was an exercise in mistaken idealism Iraq in cynical money-making. And there's no optimism or idealism now -- Americans are tired of knowledge. Our leaders, the C-students from Yale, know this. We're proud of being ignorant that leaves virtue at our core. We aren't frazzled by knowledge like foreigners, so we can be trusted.

You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.

Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.