Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.

A story has to be a good date, because the reader can stop at any time. Remember, readers are selfish and have no compulsion to be decent about anything.

I chose cultural anthropology, since it offered the greatest opportunity to write high-minded balderdash.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

A nice thing about war-not that anything about war is nice, I guess-is that while it's going on and you're in it, you never worry about doing the right thing.

We'd been apart so long--I'd been dead so long," she said in English. "I thought surely you'd built a new life, with no room in it for me. I'd hoped that." "My life is nothing but room for you." I said. "It could never be filled by anyone but you.

If Jesus was alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time. His ideas are just too liberal.