There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.

I could go on to speak of sanity as compared with insanity, decency as compared with vandalism, friendship as compared with rabies.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I've got news for Mr. Santayana: we're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive.

You know, the Emancipation Proclamation was like giving freedom to domestic animals.

He ate a pear. It was a hard one. It fought back against his grinding teeth. It snapped in juicy protest.

Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.