all that has changed, in my opinion, is that, thanks to television, we can hide a great depression. we may even be hiding a third world war

I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.

The Bible may be the Greatest Story Ever Told, but the most popular story you can ever tell is about a good-looking couple having a really swell time copulating outside wedlock, and having to quit for one reason or another while doing it is still a novelty.

I can see where influential people would like Maharishi better than Jesus. My God, if the Beatles and Mia Farrow went to Jesus, He'd tell them to give all their money away.

That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.

I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around. Lucky me, lucky mud.

The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal.