There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, I said, but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too.

In 1844, Karl Marx said, "Religion is the opiate of the masses." He said this at a time when opium and opium derivatives were the only painkillers. And he said it helped a little. He might as well have said, "Religion is the aspirin of the people."

Somebody gets into trouble, then gets out of it again. People love that story. They never get tired of it.

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. "Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" she asked me. "The big show is inside my head," I said.

I can have oodles of charm when I want to.

Earthlings are the great explainers, explaining why this event is structured as it is, telling how other events may be achieved or avoided.