If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.

How’s the patient?” asked Derby. “Dead to the world.” “But not actually dead.” “No.” “How nice - to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.

The economy is a thoughtless weather system.

Vonnegut could not help looking back, despite the danger of being turned metaphorically into a pillar of salt, into am emblem of the death that comes to those who cannot let go of the past

Take life seriously but none of the people in it.

I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.

Son--they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.