If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

One does not have humor. It has you.

I write what I write and I honestly don't care if it gets on or not. I'm writing to see if I can find out some of what I think about any number of situations. I work it out in the writing.

I never watched Friends, maybe because it was written by people straight out of college....The only way to avoid age discrimination in Hollywood is to die young.

Your style is formed by what you can't do.

I love to play with language; make it do tricks, turn a word inside out to see if it's got a hidden meaning tucked away somewhere, or perhaps find that it's capable of an extra entendre or two. . . . Plotting is nothing I did, or do, naturally. It is the hardest part of the writing process. No matter how many times you plot a script successfully, the next one, representing new and uncharted territory, convinces you that you really don't know how to do it at all.

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.