Someone once said, "I don't lie because then I don't have to remember anything." I've told white lies a lot. Sometimes when you tell stories you'll embellish them a little, especially with foxhole humor.

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

Sandy Koufax went to the same school as me. I graduated two years ahead of Sandy.

I'm having as much fun today as I did when I made $55 a week, because it is as much fun

I worked on the United Parcel Service truck, I sold home delivery of milk. But always, in the back of my mind, I wanted to get into radio.

There is nothing in your destiny, nothing in your future that you cannot accomplish.

When I broke in, in 1957, it was wide open. Now you're up against strong competition.