There is still nothing in life as constant and as changing at the same time as an afternoon at a ballpark.

I was always telling everyone, I want to be a broadcaster. They'd say, What, are you crazy? What, you're going to be Arthur Godfrey?

I'm having as much fun today as I did when I made $55 a week, because it is as much fun

If you do something, expect consequences

All of my life doing interviews, comedy has been my favorite thing, comedians are my favorite people.

It's joyful to give. But for people who want to take advantage of you, you're kind of an easy mark.

Don't you think it would be better to legalize victimless crimes like drugs & prostitution & divert the resources to more important things like the rapes & assaults & things like that?