You make your own luck. Luck is the residue of design.

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

When I broke in, in 1957, it was wide open. Now you're up against strong competition.

Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.

The ultimate [travel destination] for me would be one perfect day in San Francisco. There's no city like it anywhere. And, if I could be there with the girl of my dreams, that would be the ultimate!

When I was 5 years old I would lie in bed, look at the radio, and I wanted to be on the radio. I don't know why.

If they asked me, I did two shifts. I did sports, I did news, because I loved it.