You make your own luck. Luck is the residue of design.

i never learned anything while i was talking.

I would like to ask Him if He was indeed virgin born, because the answer to that question would define history.

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

Those of us forced to read the London papers sometimes speculate about which is greater: the average British hack's sloth, mendacity, ignorance, obsequiousness, capacity for drink, or aversion to paying for that drink. Smart money tends to split between the latter two.

Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.

There is still nothing in life as constant and as changing at the same time as an afternoon at a ballpark.