Those of us forced to read the London papers sometimes speculate about which is greater: the average British hack's sloth, mendacity, ignorance, obsequiousness, capacity for drink, or aversion to paying for that drink. Smart money tends to split between the latter two.

It's joyful to give. But for people who want to take advantage of you, you're kind of an easy mark.

Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves.

Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.

I was always telling everyone, I want to be a broadcaster. They'd say, What, are you crazy? What, you're going to be Arthur Godfrey?

One thing I have learned is, if people tell you they had a "frank" discussion with someone, it is usually code for a yelling match with clenched fists.

The first rule of my speaking is: listen!