I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff.

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night.

I don't do my show for critics. Early on I did, because I'm a nice guy and I like to be liked by everybody, and I thought, "Hey, I'm just making people laugh, what's the big deal?" There have been all different types of comics that appeal to all different types of people. Why rail on me? But yeah, they really don't like Southern acts.

I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.