When I started doing my act, I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I was probably 29 years old. Some people say that's not a kid, but when you're 50, and you look back to when you were 30, you were a kid. You look back on your 30s and think, "I was an idiot!" But I would just do things then I thought were funny. I couldn't have cared less who thought anything about it.

I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game anywhere. Before I started doing big arenas and stuff and had a tour bus when I was just working comedy clubs way back when I would always listen to the games in my hotel room on the Internet.

I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.

I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to work. The kind of success that's happened to me maybe only happens to one comedian every twenty years and so I'm on the road constantly.

If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.

I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.

I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh.