I don't do my show for critics. Early on I did, because I'm a nice guy and I like to be liked by everybody, and I thought, "Hey, I'm just making people laugh, what's the big deal?" There have been all different types of comics that appeal to all different types of people. Why rail on me? But yeah, they really don't like Southern acts.

I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.

I get so sick and tired of Wikipedia. People write their own crap on there.

I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.