Remember, half the people you know are below average.

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

I was always getting in trouble because I was the class clown but I always made teacher laugh. I remember I thought I was going to fail that class but I ended up passing it and I really think it was only because I was good entertainment for her.

I get so sick and tired of Wikipedia. People write their own crap on there.

I GREW UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FRIEND OR 2 THAT TALKED WITH THE SOOUTHERN ACCENT.

Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.

I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over stuff people say.