I was obsessed with livestock barns, cattle and hogs. I still love that, and I still do that as a hobby.So I'm a strange person.

MY ACT IS 'NOTHING BUT COMEDY. I TALK SOUTHERN BECAUSE I PICKED IT UP WHEN I MOVED TO THE SOUTH. IM NOT TRYING TO MAKE ANY SOCIAL POLITICAL POINT, NOR AM I TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF REDNECKS. I GREW UP A COUNTRY KID AND WILL ALWAYS BE ONE. I GREW UP WITH PEOPLE THAT SAID CERTAIN THINGS FUNNY AND I PREFORM USING THE SAME LANGUAGE BECAUSE I FIND IT HYSTERICLE. THATS IT. ITS A COMEDY SHOW THAT IS FUNNY AND THATS IT.

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

I was obsessed with livestock barns, cattle and hogs. I still love that, and I still do that as a hobby.So I'm a strange person.

Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.

I was pretty subdued [as a kid ] because I didn't want to get spanked, and I didn't want to go to Hell.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.