I'm afraid my gut level reaction is basically, proceed is cute, but cute doesn't cut it in the emergency room.
Are you perchance running on a 64-bit machine?
It's certainly easy to calculate the average attendance for Perl conferences.
The choice of approaches could be made the responsibility of the programmer.
Life gets boring, someone invents another necessity, and once again we turn the crank on the screwjack of progress hoping that nobody gets screwed.
Just because you're into control doesn't mean you're in control.