I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.

I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!

It's a big deal about whether or not gays can march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade and I have to say that on some level I kind of see their point. Because when you think about it, it is a real macho heterosexual event. Bunch of guys in short skirts on a cart made of rose pedals sharing a bag pipe. That's not for sissies.