I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.

I get asked to do benefits a lot and I've decided I've got to be a bit more discerning, I can't just do all of them. . . . I got asked to do a benefit for babies born addicted to crack. And I said well, all right, I'll help you raise money for them, but I think we both know what they're gonna spend it on.

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

[On living in New York City:] I'm oblivious to everything. I just don't notice anything. I sat in a coffee shop, drank half a cup of coffee before I noticed there was lipstick on the cup. There was wadded-up gum and lipstick on the napkin. I must have been sitting on that woman's lap for an hour.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.