I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

I slept with my mother until I was nine years old. It was OK for the first few years, and then I don't know what happened. I just couldn't do it anymore. I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!

I'm all over the place, and I consider myself a bit of a scrounger: 'What will I do next, so I'm not broke?'

My grandmother, she passed away at Christmas time. So now, I have this built in sadness, you know, every holiday. 'Cause I'm plagued with the thought of, you know, what she would have given me. What didn't I get to open this year?

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.