I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
Laura KightlingerThe thing that amazes me about getting fired is that nobody ever has anything insightful to say about it. They always say the same thing. They always say, 'Everything happens for a reason.' As lame as that sounds, I guess itโs better to hear it out loud. Because when you hear it in your own head, it sounds like, 'Anything can happen with a razor.
Laura KightlingerI get asked to do benefits a lot and I've decided I've got to be a bit more discerning, I can't just do all of them. . . . I got asked to do a benefit for babies born addicted to crack. And I said well, all right, I'll help you raise money for them, but I think we both know what they're gonna spend it on.
Laura KightlingerI want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.
Laura Kightlinger