Anything can happen with a razor.

I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!

The thing that amazes me about getting fired is that nobody ever has anything insightful to say about it. They always say the same thing. They always say, 'Everything happens for a reason.' As lame as that sounds, I guess it’s better to hear it out loud. Because when you hear it in your own head, it sounds like, 'Anything can happen with a razor.

I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

I get asked to do benefits a lot and I've decided I've got to be a bit more discerning, I can't just do all of them. . . . I got asked to do a benefit for babies born addicted to crack. And I said well, all right, I'll help you raise money for them, but I think we both know what they're gonna spend it on.