I get asked to do benefits a lot and I've decided I've got to be a bit more discerning, I can't just do all of them. . . . I got asked to do a benefit for babies born addicted to crack. And I said well, all right, I'll help you raise money for them, but I think we both know what they're gonna spend it on.

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

I have to find work wherever it might be hiding.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

Anything can happen with a razor.

I always feel like rejection is my petrol. That's what keeps me going.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.