One of the best places for a shy person to meet people is in a coffee shop. If you are a reader, bring a book and read it there - that gives a guy something to ask you about. Same goes for sketching, writing, or any hobby you can take with you.
Laurie HelgoeFor the introvert, conversation can be a very limited forum for self expression. When a song moves you, a writer gets you or a theory enlightens you, you and its creator are connecting in a realm beyond sight or speech.
Laurie HelgoeIntrovert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.
Laurie HelgoeAn introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn't interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction. In fact, she knows that the party will leave her feeling more alone and alienated.
Laurie HelgoeSome findings reveal extroverts as more adept at reading nonverbal cues, and attribute this to the extrovert's greater interest and experience with social interactions. Another line of research using subliminal images of facial emotion found introverts to be more sensitive to the differences, and hypothesized that this may be why introverts regulate the amount of incoming social information.
Laurie HelgoeIntroverts keep their best stuff insideโthat is, until it is ready. And this drives extroverts crazy! The explanation for the introvertโs behaviorโand there must be an explanation for this behavior, say the extrovertsโis that he or she is antisocial, out of touch, or simply a snob.
Laurie Helgoe