I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.
Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.
I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.
I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.
If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.
Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.