Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover that all remaining items had copious amounts of dog hair on them.