I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover that all remaining items had copious amounts of dog hair on them.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.