Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.
I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.
I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.
Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching--and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book.
I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.
Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.