As soon as people see my face on a movie screen, they knew two things: first, I'm not going to get the girl, and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over.

One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet.

Ah, stardom! They put your name on a star in the sidewalk on Hollywood Boulevard and you walk down and find a pile of dog manure on it. That tells the whole story, baby.

As soon as people see my face on a movie screen, they knew two things: first, I'm not going to get the girl, and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over.

If I have any appeal at all, it's to the fellow who takes out the garbage.

I know my career is going badly because I'm being quoted correctly.

I only make movies to finance my fishing.