If your house burns down, rescue the dogs. At least they'll be faithful to you.

As soon as people see my face on a movie screen, they knew two things: first, I'm not going to get the girl, and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over.

And once by God, I was a Marine!

Ah, stardom! They put your name on a star in the sidewalk on Hollywood Boulevard and you walk down and find a pile of dog manure on it. That tells the whole story, baby.

Newman has it all worked out. I get a million. He gets a million two, but that includes $200,000 expenses.

If I have any appeal at all, it's to the fellow who takes out the garbage.

Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit.