Obviously you can't please everyone. I'm sure some people say, 'Bloody old Len Goodman gets on my nerves.

I really hate airport queues. I almost feel they should have cattle prods to hurry us up down the aisles. You can't even complain because they might stop you getting on to the flight.

Your money is like your willy, it only grows if you play with it

On the dance floor, as much as you say, 'Ladies, you are the car. He is the driver. You can only go where he takes you,' they still try to be in control.

I'm a technophobe. I can't crack the iPhone, and the extent of my multitasking is being able to talk while I make a drink.

As you get older, things conk out. It's a bit like a car. As long as it's something the mechanics can fix, you can chug on for a few more thousand miles.

I haven't danced since 1973; I'm too old.