No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.

A cat is better than you are, more honest, more graceful, smarter for her size, better coordinated, and infinitely more beautiful.

Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

If God did not intend the cat to live happily with humankind, why is there a meow in the middle of the word 'hoMEOWner'?

New York City is like the appetizer table at a Jewish wedding, loaded with salt and spice and cholesterol and flavor, with a waiter holding out pleasure in his right hand and indigestion in his left. If you've got the bucks, this burg has the bangs.

From talk radio to insult radio wasn't really that much of a leap.

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.