If you are reading a large newspaper, all spread out on the table, your cat will come and sit on the very paragraph you are reading, the talented cat draping her tail with miraculous precision over the very line you're not finished with.

From talk radio to insult radio wasn't really that much of a leap.

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

who hasn't slept in an empty bed sometimes, longing for the embrace of another person on the achingly short trip to the grave?

To find his own salvation, a man must first find the fool locked inside himself and set it free.

New York City is like the appetizer table at a Jewish wedding, loaded with salt and spice and cholesterol and flavor, with a waiter holding out pleasure in his right hand and indigestion in his left. If you've got the bucks, this burg has the bangs.

No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.