Leslie Jones Quotes

There is no such thing as getting anything easy. Trust and believe. Even if you're good at what you do, you still should be practicing, you still should be updating, especially. Because if you don't update, you become a dinosaur.

If I see someone not laughing, the first thing I'm thinking is, "OK, am I cursing too much? Am I doing a joke he doesn't understand? Is he resting?" Then he starts becoming my focal point. Once I see him laugh, I'm like, [snap] "All right, now I'm funny."

I had all the intentions of being the next Eddie Murphy.

The way we value black beauty has changed. I'm single now, but back in the slave days, I would have never been single. I'm 6 feet tall and I'm strong. Look at me, I'm a Mandingo.

The reason everybody is so amazed and enamored with me right now is because I have worked every angle, I have worked every formula, I have worked every equation, I have seen every club, I have seen every performance, I have seen every joke, I have studied, I have done my job. That's why I'm good. It's not because I got up one night and decided I wanted to tell some f - -ing jokes.

Everybody was telling me to sit my ass down. Everybody was telling me to get a real job. Everybody was asking me, "What are you doing? You're ruining your life. You're embarrassing your family." That's all I got. So you can't listen to that. You have to listen to yourself.

My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.

Back when I played, basketball was all about fundamentals, about hustling, getting those loose balls, all those rebounds under the basket. That equals up to 12, 14, 16 points. You can lose a game with that much. It's different watching basketball now. People don't play the same way. It doesn't matter if you score, if you can't stop the other team from scoring. Our coach used to kick our ass if we didn't. I was told if you saw more of the other team color under the basket than your own team color, you ain't doing your job. Everybody should be under the board, trying to get that ball.

You can't rush good wine. It has to sit. And when you finally drink it, it's the bomb. It's worth the wait.

People think I'm an overnight success. No. It's just that you all found me overnight.

I'm really good at standup. I always win at standup.

I didn't realize the age thing until I got hired and everybody was telling me I was f - -ing old.

When you're writing a sketch, it has to be surrounded by a situation. It can't just be out of the air.

I always had a Twitter account. I always had an Instagram account. I was always active on it, always spoke my mind. To me, it's really weird that I got so many followers and people that pay attention the way they do. It's hilarious, actually, because people didn't used to listen to me at all. I used to be like, "Does anybody hear me talkin'?"

I take care of everybody. I'm either hugging you or making sure that you're not sick, because my backpack has every kind of medicine in it.

I'm not leaving America because it doesn't support me.

You have to always keep conditioning. My coach used to say, "You play like you practice." If you practice s - -ty, you're going to play s - -ty.