When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected Vice President of the United States. She said, if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.

On the plane was a Time magazine and there was a 30 page article on diabetes, and I read every page. By the time that plane landed, I had diabetes.

I don't know if watching Chaz Bono will turn your kids into transsexuals, but I'm pretty sure that letting them watch Keith Ablow will turn them into assholes

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

There's no reason to tweet when you are in the midst of a great moment; they are few and far between. So pay attention to it, as you probably won't see it again. You can always tweet later, if you're lucky enough to be part of history and you think 140 characters can do credit to someone like Martin Luther King or to the speech he made that day.

Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny.