Usually I'm too tired to apologize.

Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.

If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row.

Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum. Parents and kids come and they're all punked out, and there are these other guys in John Deere caps.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!