One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell the person off, don't do it.

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.

I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!

Socialism appeals to me. It's like imposed Christianity. You've got to share.