Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any landmass would be beautiful.

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.

Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.

Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun.

It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.

If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.