sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers

I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.

When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected Vice President of the United States. She said, if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort of sense of what the common good is, and if you don't have a sense of what the common good is, then at least give to what you think your specific goods are.