If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.

I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road as a standup comic, between airport security and the weather... I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport.

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!

Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.

I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck ,so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich.