If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .

I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.

FEMA I always thought was a bone here in your ass.

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug that would make one so delusional?

If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch mtv and the image they're showing is the same as the one in your head, kill yourself. You're better off coming back as a lobster.