I don't care who wins because I go to sporting events to scream. It's the one place on the planet you can shout anything you want. You can bellow at will, and nobody will bother you. I yell things like, 'My life sucks! Dan Quayle is a schmuck! If I don't have sex soon, I'm going to explode!' Parents turn to their kids as I leave the stadium and go, 'Hey, there goes a great fan.

I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track.

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.

Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.

Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.